Kindness Cards: A ROCS Approach to V-Day

It’s Valentine’s Day and, all across the world, people are exchanging heart-shaped cards and candy. Children are introduced to this tradition early on, often at school. Treated as a foregone conclusion, they are expected to bring a Valentine for every student in their class, ignoring families who may question the holiday for various reasons. *

In typical Red Oak fashion, we’ve devised our own way of marking V-Day, a holiday which, for all its warts, does offer the opportunity for a nice warm hug in the dead of winter.

This week our children are exchanging Kindness Cards, an idea invented by one of our founding educators, Maureen Alley. She remembers:

“During Year 1 at ROCS I started thinking about traditions, and what schools do versus what we could be doing at ROCS. The tradition of kids bringing home a box full of little drug-store Valentine's and a load of junky candy didn't really track with the values we are cultivating. I also wanted to de-emphasize romantic love as the focus of the holiday and over the years, students have talked about love between family members, love between friends, love between teachers and students, love for the earth, and love for ourselves.  We read picture books about different kinds of kindness including Because Amelia Smiled and Ordinary Mary's Extraordinary Deed and talk about
how small acts of kindness can affect those around you and inspire others to spread kindness too.

For our Kindness Cards, each student, teacher, and intern decorate the front of a large card.  Then everyone spends time writing messages inside one another’s cards. I post phrase- and word-banks for the students to get ideas from and encourage the them to write specific messages that are kind inside the cards. Anticipation builds as we get closer to passing them around and looks on the children's faces when they open and read their Kindness Cards are heartwarming.” 

After four years, the students have come to look forward to the cards. They report the cards make them feel “good,” “happy,” and “proud.” They enjoy reading messages from friends and classmates that thank them for being a good friend, let them know they are fun to play with, and compliment their talents.

Parents like the cards too and report on the impact they make on their kids.

Students admit that it can be hard to know what to write for people they don’t know that well, but in our small school, teachers and students at least recognize everyone. Writing notes, even as simple as “You’re cool” or “You’re kind” provides a moment to pause and turn attention towards the person to whom they are writing.

To whom will you be turning your attention today?

Jodi Kushins
ROCS Mom and Blog Editor
*If you care to read more on my personal and ongoing wrestlings with Valentine’s Day as an Art Educator, Jewish-American, and avowed anti-consumerist, click through to my blog: “Paper Hearts and the History of Valentine’s Day,” “Rethinking the Valentine,” and “Acts of Loving Kindness.”